What I Really Want To Tell You 10/12/17


Today what I really want to tell you is how there was a bee in my hood this morning that stung me repeatedly right before my run. I really want to tell you how I just knew I would be allergic and wanted to use it as an excuse to skip the exercise. That for the first mile of trotting with my dog I could barely breath and I kept telling myself it must be the stings and that I should just quit, go home, try another day.

I really want to tell you that in some ways this has become a habit. Over the past few years if the conditions aren’t perfect or I’m feeling slightly off I don’t do the work I need to do. I distract myself with other busy work. I give myself the safety of not failing by sometimes simply not trying.

I really want to tell you that it hasn’t always been this way and I’m not even sure when or how it began. It might have been as a result of losses or other failures and honestly at the end of the day I’m not even sure the why is relevant. The fact that this has become an option for me however is.

I really want to tell you how I kept running this morning. The breath came and I found my stride. The conditions shifted to meet me or I them and it was a beautiful run. I went for 4 miles, further than intended, and could have continued.

I really want to tell you that I’m re-creating this habit of continuing to go in other areas too. Of forcing myself to move forward and risk failure in order to achieve success.

Finally I want to tell you about my new studio and the white walls and the blank slate and all of the possibilities I see for it. But instead I’m not going to talk the talk here, I’m going to walk the walk there. I’m off to create and promise to be back in touch soon.

Last week I asked what you really wanted to tell me and I heard so many amazing things from people. I heard about the importance of financial planning, people’s passion projects, just words of love so I’m asking again. Is there anything you really want to tell me?