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A bullshit stamp... My Prized Possession

denny.jpg

Yesterday would have been my stepdad Denny's 67th birthday, but it wasn't, because 12.5 years ago he died. He killed himself actually. This sucked, really. Not only for the actual reasons but because for me, personally, it was hard to look back, remember, reminisce, without having to remember all the crappy part first...

However, last June my friend Robin Hallett participated in my Story Circles class. A few days in to class she shared an amazing mandala of her dad. She created it around the time that he died and as she worked on it, it became a sort of catharsis. I was moved, intrigued, knew that I needed to do this too...

Yesterday I did.

I was hesitant at first, scared really. Man oh man, to get to the good memories, the great ones really, I had to remember a lot of not so great stuff surrounding a life long battle with diabetes, amputations, quadruple bypasses and more... BUT... I got through it, and I am so GLAD that I did.

I realized as I drew my mandala and started thinking about all of the pieces of Denny that I could remember and wanted to memorialize the ugly stuff popped up first. As it did I was able to say, "Nope, that wasn't Denny." He wasn't the medical situation, he wasn't the challenges or the diabetes, he was so much more.

He was hunting and old fashioneds, rifles and golf clubs. He was Saturday car washes (EVERY week because he LOVED a clean car). He was cowboy boots and pick up trucks. In contrast he was pink pants. He was hot dogs and shamrocks. He was all of this and more.... So much more.

He was LOVE. Pure love. Denny was a passionate man and loved what he loved... and what he didn't love...

often fell in to the category of...

Bullshit.

The stamp above lived in his desk drawer for many years. When he passed away my mom gave it to me. It may be the only thing I have had as long as I have. It may be the only thing that I can consistently find. It may indeed be, outside of my husband and children, my extended family and close friends... it may be... my prized possession:)

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