77 Days of Paintings- Day 60


2 years ago as I worked in my studio the calls started coming in. We live in Connecticut and my daughter was in kindergarten. Friends across the country were watching the news and worried about us. This is how I found out.

I went from working, to crying, to praying, to crying

to wanting to do something, anything…

what could i do?
what can i do?
what can you do?
what can we do?

the answer is/was different for each of us

i knew immediately i could paint
i wanted to paint
i needed to paint
and so after a few days i did

i drew and drafted and eventually painted

i found order in geometry and healing through art

i finally looked at the numbers that i had been avoiding
20 children, 6 adults

i painted this for them, for you, for myself
20 little hearts heaven bound
6 strong supports pointing to center and holding them up
a support across the bottom, love, love, love, i choose love…

and at the center, a mandala with white
where it all begins
and where it all returns
perfect white

why white?
from Debbie Ford’s, The Dark Side of the Lightchasers:
“Perfect Love is to feeling what perfect white is to color. Many think that white is the absence of color. It is not. It is the inclusion of all color. White is every other color that exists combined. So, too, is love not the absence of emotion(hatred, anger, lust, jealousy) but the summation of all feeling.
It is the sum total, the aggregate amount, the everything…”

i was so feeling anger and hate and fear and love. and choosing love again and again, and knowing that all of these other emotions can exist within this…