I started this mandala Saturday night. I was coming slightly undone, on the verge of a losing it if only momentarily. I had broken my pricey scanner, lost my wallet at the theater, felt a cold coming on and it was cold and rainy.
I had already done some mandala work in the morning but M, my daughter, asked after dinner if we could paint. It seems like forever since the request had come in so I said "Absolutely!"
I had grabbed some pale pink Gerber Daisies at Whole Foods on my way home from the theater to retrieve my lost wallet(one hour lost in a busy day). Inspiration!
I sat and I measured and drafted. I took my straight edge and with each straight orderly line a little relief. With each perfect petal a softening of the shoulders. With each additional layer a little less high strung, a little more grounded.
I looked at a few of the other mandalas I had been working on from earlier in the week and they were all much more intricate than others. A little more controlled. A little more tight!
I realized as I felt I was losing control everywhere else, I was exercising here in my circles- huge aha!!!
I drew this, then I painted it, then I retouched it and I felt I could continue to improve upon it again and again...
And then, I realized it was a self portrait of sorts...